36 Comments

Oh gosh! I want a pair of skates like those. What fun skating around in the loft of an old barn. As for the other... the dreadful turn of events re: Roe v Wade and what that means and what is yet to come, we must speak out and speak up. Thank you for sharing your experience of what can happen when we do. I'm telling everyone about "Singing Lessons..." and what a delight of a read it is.

PS: do you listen to music when you skate?

Expand full comment
author

I admit to falling for the shiny skate-ness of these skates, and the sparkly blue wheels, practicality be darned. When they arrived I had no idea if I'd still be able to skate or get my mind wrapped around the anxiety of falling. In the barn, we listened to nickelodeon music while skating, but our local roller rink also has music. I did skate with silence a few times, just to hear the whirr of the wheels on the wood, to practice my turns and listen to my breath. That was fun too.

Expand full comment

I started your book today! it's a terrific story! Appreciate your voice and perspective both as a writer and small press publisher.

Also completely understand why you would delete the post. Self preservation is also a radical move.

Expand full comment
author

So much yes to this: " Self preservation is also a radical move." I always forget that. So glad you're enjoying SINGING LESSONS! I love knowing that you're reading it. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Oh, how horrible that trolls came out to harass you on a personal and heartfelt post. Totally understandable that you did what you felt was best for your peace of mind and for your daughters'. And here's to jelly, sparkly skate wheels.

Expand full comment
author

I just didn't see it coming; maybe if I knew, if I anticipated, I would have put my psychic shield up. It took me by such surprise. So I took it down and then went skating again! Jelly wheels are the best.

Expand full comment

I love this post! I feel connected to you through your writing. I have chronic pain and an autoimmune condition myself. I wouldn't choose to camp, but more power to you for doing it! When I lived in pdx, the Oregon Country Fair was one of my favorite summertime events. Two chapters in my book, For Better And Worse, is based off a man who I met there! You are going to be a hit!

Also, shake off those haters. Isn't there a Taylor Swift song about this? ;)

(p.s. If you're interested in my book which all takes place in Oregon, I'd be happy to send you a signed copy or you can find it here. https://www.amazon.com/Better-Worse-Short-Stories-Tantalizing/dp/1519373821)

Good luck at the fair! I wish these were different times where I could safely travel and be there.

Expand full comment
author

Oh that's wild! So cool. I love the connections and am excited about being part of the fair this year. To speak, you need to commit to the whole fair and the camping, so I'm hopeful I can rally and do it. And I get it about these times. I've been super cautious since 2020 and will probably mask on the paths even though we're outside.

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Love the pix! So great to see after so much bad news in our world..and the frenzy of haters ..dismissed! They haven’t earned the space. I also really like your attitude re book sales and measuring success by your own metrics. We shall overcome!

Best

Sonya z

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Sonya! I agree about the haters. I felt them taking up space, the quickening of my breath a sign of that threat, and hit delete. Without reading all the comments, seeing who the trolls were, anything like that. Just: bye now. And I'm glad my attitude is helpful on sales metrics! I keep coming back to that talking point--especially when talking to MYSELF!

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Yes on all of above…yay!

Expand full comment

Thanks, Laura, once again for another great newsletter. Like Kristin, I shared my story on The Big Smoke and had little response. Also pushback from a family member; I was being too honest and revealing. A reminder of how deeply shame infects our felt sense of our bodies. Your newsletter was like salve on my vulnerable heart. Thanks so much.

Expand full comment
author

Dian, I love you so much and find your voice so powerful and often surprising in the best ways. I know some of your stories, but there are so many others that you share and they impact how I see the world. Thank you for your openness and I'm so sorry about how this essay fused itself to shame and vulnerability instead of being met entirely with kindness and soft hearts.

Expand full comment

Laura: So much gratitude to you for your wisdom and understanding--for me, for so many women.

Expand full comment
author

Love you so much, my friend.

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Great newsletter! If you like rollerskating, you should check out my children’s book TILLIE HEART AND SOUL. http://maryatkinson.net/tillie-heart-and-soul/

Mary

Expand full comment
author

Whoa! I just read about the setting--a "piano factory–turned–artists’ colony"--and that sounds like my life. I *was* roller skating in what used to be an organ performance hall... Is your book a middle-grade one? I suspect my roller-skating kid would love it.

Expand full comment
Jul 5, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Yes, it's middle grade! And it got a Kirkus Star!

Expand full comment
author

Cool! Congrats to you!

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

I needed your words about self-silencing. I shared my story on #whateverthereason, but only to friends, and that felt like not going all in. I didn't want to invite the stream of trolls, though, and I have friends I know disagree with me but won't be uncivil about it. I love that you talked with your daughters about choice. So healthy.

Expand full comment
author

Kristin, thank you so much for this perspective. I thought I was sharing with friends on Insta, but my account is public, and I guess I used an abortion hashtag or something that made trolls swarm. I don't think it got terribly bad before I deleted it, but I'm not sure because I didn't read past the first few comments. I do miss civil discourse but I don't have the bandwidth or patience to engage with combatants like those commenters.

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

And talking with your daughters about abortion is much healthier than my mom bursting into tears when I was 16 and yelling that if I didn't want kids, there was something wrong with me. My dad was adopted and my mom said he'd have been aborted today. My dad said, "I wasn't me yet, and maybe my mom wouldn't have died at 29 in a drunk car crash if she'd had that choice."

Expand full comment
author

Oh wow. These are huge moments you've carried all these years, these conversations. Good for you for knowing your path and sticking to it despite your mom's sadness. We need to live for ourselves, and at sixteen, you were already deciding what that would mean.

Expand full comment

Every word of this is just beautiful.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, my friend. (Secret: I realized I'd better write SOMETHING because Substack sent me a "you haven't posted in a while" note the other day. Haha.) But I didn't know where I'd go or if it'd come together. I'm so grateful to you for this note and for you taking the time to read this.

Expand full comment

I love your newsletter; you write like we're having a conversation. As for "doing something" I will complete the 40 Get Out The Vote postcards (to Wisconsin this time) I've committed to, and I will think about your inspiring words.

Expand full comment
author

I love the conversational element best of all. It's the thing that keeps me going with my newsletter, even though I have fiercely guarded my "when I feel like it" posting schedule, even though many people swear that having a plan is best. But I approach it more like wanting to write an email to a friend or see someone for coffee--with intent to engage. And a schedule, I think, would make the tone shift into something less personal.

Grateful to you for working on these 40 postcards. That's AWESOME.

Expand full comment

Yay! I’m going Friday to the Fair and I’ll try to come find you!

And yeah, I hear you about the trolls. The abortion debate gets way too heated and personal.

Expand full comment
author

Oh YAY! I'd love to see you! I'm speaking at 4:30 on the Front Porch studio with Michelle Ruiz Keil on Friday if you're still at the fair then. Otherwise I'm going to be around ALL DAY and I'd love to wander with you. Do you have my cell? I'm not sure I'll get texts there--reception and the networks get overloaded--but we could also make a tentative plan to meet, and if it works great, and if not, I'd be wandering around anyway!

Expand full comment

Awesome! Yeah, I’ll text you!

Expand full comment
author

FUN!

Expand full comment

So grateful for your efforts here. I bought and am waiting to dive into your novel. Enjoy the summer.

Expand full comment
author

Art. Thank you so much. Truly.

Expand full comment
Jul 3, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Thanks for the shout out on The Sturgeon Heart — it’s a cracker of a book! So pleased you like it!

MBB

Expand full comment
author

I loved it! You made such an awesome suggestion to pair us. Mine has a lighter/brighter tone, and hers has more of a shadow tone, but they are two sides of the same coin. We had SO MUCH to talk about and plan to do something else together!

Expand full comment
Jul 4, 2022Liked by Laura Stanfill

Yes! Deb told me it was a match made in heaven — thought it might work out that way!

Expand full comment